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Cat & Mouse

by Gill Baxter, Nottingham, UK

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Thought this might amuse about my cat. All these happened about 9p.m.

Cat comes in with live mouse, drops it. Curly hair stands straight up, screams. Cat not amused and flees. Half hour later I catch mouse and evict, still live. (Well I am a nice person!) All quiet.

Two weeks later cat comes into lounge and mews loudly. Search and can't find anything. Relieved - all quiet. One week later, washing machine flood. Call engineer. Engineer opens top of washing machine. Mouse sitting happily washing itself. Fast disappears into washing machine. Engineer and I spend 20 minutes trying to shake out mouse. Evenually comes out and is evicted - live again. Gets bill from engineer for £80 for three chewed rubber tubes. Inform cat this is unacceptable behaviour.

Two weeks later cat comes into lounge again mewing loudly. Streak for kitchen but no mouse. Relief. Next day, open powder draw of washing machine, see mouse. Close powder draw so fast it nearly comes out of back of washing machine. Decide to try poison. Put it in powder draw and apologise to mouse. Three days later, dead mouse in powder draw. Hold funeral service and speak firmly to cat.

Three weeks later, cat comes into lounge with mouse in mouth and drops it. Mouse streaks for bedroom and disappears under bed and won't be moved. Decide to go to bed but bring cat into bedroom and shut the door. Well, cats supposed to catch mice! Spend sleepless night hearing cat on the hour chasing mouse. Morning comes and mouse still there. I catch mouse and evict once again. Warn cat, another mouse and she visits the vet for a jaw wiring operation.

Cat got message. All quiet for eleven months. Hoping not to get an anniversary present.

p.s. friends wonder why paper pushed in all available gaps!

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