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Pushing my Luck

by Beverley, Napier, New Zealand


I have always been fascinated by people obsessing over toilet lids being down or up. I am ashamed to say I simply 'don't care'. But it is interesting to note the behaviour of guests. One couple who stayed had frightful rows about the toilet lid. "You left it up," screamed the female to the cowering male. "I saw you come out of the toilet and checked!"

"Don't worry about it," I said, trying to help the male, whose face mirrored his gratitude at such support.

The female rolled over me as if I were a bug. "He knows better," she screamed.

"I'm going to have a shower," whispered the male trying to slither out the door.

The female nailed him. "You are not," she yelled, "You are going to have a bath!"

"But I don't like baths," wailed the miserable one.

"Too bad," she snarled.

Then I committed the stupid crime of coming between a rowing couple. "Why can't he have a shower?" I questioned.

If she could have killed me on the spot she would have done so. Breath hissed in and out of her nostrils with a nose like a snake. "Why, why, because I said so," she gritted through clenched teeth "He knows perfectly well that he is never allowed to have a shower!"

The man slunk off. The battle of the sexes was over - supremacy had been re-established.


Editor's note:

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