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Hei Yu!

by Janice Munday, New London, CT, USA


Once upon a time, many moons ago, I had a cat named Hei Yu. She was a semi-longhair with a double coat, and she hated water; she'd always perch on the edge of the tub while I was soaking, watching with the most disgusted/disbelieving look on her face -- I know she was wondering if I, her somewhat backward person, was ever going to learn to lick myself like a Decent, Self-Respecting Cat, instead of immersing myself in that horrid wet stuff!

Well, one day the inevitable happener -- she fell in. She proceeded to climb me like a tree, stand on my head holding on for Dear Life, and Scream For Help, alternating with calling me Every Name In The Book. (I was very glad I didn't understand Cat, but the tone was obvious.) She was part Siamese, and had a very loud voice.

I was trying to get her loose, an impossible task since I had my (very long) hair done up in coronet braids to keep it out of the water, and she had four paws armed with eighteen little fishhooks against my two hands. All the while this is happening we're both yelling up a storm.

Then comes a pounding on the door -- the outside door. Yipes! I can't answer the door -- first, I'm starkers; second, I've got the bloody cat permanently attached (or so it's beginning to seem) to my head!! The neighbors were already Not Too Sure about Hawk and me, and I didn't want to confirm their suspicions, after all.

I hear Hawk's motorcycle, and the pounding on the door stops. Thank goodness -- help is on the way. Finally.

He comes tearing in, shouting my name, hears me in the bathroom, and throws the door open -- Gapes for what must've been a full minute, and starts laughing so hard that he leaned against the wall and finally slid down to lie on the floor, still laughing.

Around yelling at him to Get The Cat Off My Head!! I hear noises outside. Sirens. And shouting. He was obviously not going to be of any use, so I wrapped myself in a towel and went to see exactly what was going on. Police -- several cars of police -- and every single neighbor in the area are gathered on our front lawn. And I'm standing there, gaping at them, soaking wet and wearing a towel, bubbles, and a cat on my head!

It seems that several of the neighbors had decided that All The Screaming (summer, open windows) was because That Biker Person had finally acted like A Biker Person, and was murdering me, so they called the cops. They were on the verge of breaking in to "rescue" me when Hawk pulled up, confusing them mightily and scaring him half to death. (He said later -- when he could finally speak -- that we (Hei Yu and I) were clearly audible two blocks away, over the noise of his engine -- except when the shrieks and yowls disappeared into the upper registers.)

We finally got it all straightened out, a very nice policeman helped me get Hei Yu detached from my head -- those claws were really tangled in my braids! -- and everyone went home. (And likely talked about us for weeks. <grin>)

I can laugh about it -- now. It took a while, though. I seriously considered murdering Hawk for a few days. <grin>

One good thing came of it: Our neighbors got to know us, and realize that we were decent types, even if Hawk was "A Biker Type, With Long Hair To Boot" and I was "Just Plain Crazy".

As the saying goes, "It's the equivalent of an introduction". <grin> It surely shook up that neighborhood of late-middle-aged and elderly types!

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