Meowchat FAQ
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Meowchat FAQ

Compiled by Kathy Gittel, of Milan, New York, USA.

How cats post to RPCC []

by several cats and a hoomin!


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from cats' point of view

Chester and Clarence

if there is going to be a faq for meowchat dont you hoomins think you oughta ask us to help put it together we might have some good ideas for you and we can help you keep it on track like talking about us more and not all this silly innerneck stuff

Phydeaux, Bauzeur & Squeak

We agree. As we all know when it is 5.30 in the morning and time to be fed NOW, hoomins can take ages to get round to doing things, so we cats should take over. At the end, we can hand it over to them like a dead mouse and say "Here it is, you can finish it off".

We don't mind being the assemblers of contributions, unless some other kitties would like to do it. You can post here, or email to us with your suggestions. Here's some ideas - feel free to suggest alterations and additions, we won't hiss. We've got our hoomin to check our speling to make sure it's acceptable to hoomin readers.

Phydeaux, Bauzeur & Squeak

Jaeger, Ebony and Sheba

1. What is Meowchat?

Meowchat is where us kitties talk to each other, and pass on interesting and useful information, like how to treat your human and how to open clam shells. Kitties also post food for each other. It is almost exclusively for cats, but humans and other life-forms are welcome to join in as long as they make it clear who they are. Humans pretending to be cats are definitely not permitted to post.

2. Why is the spelling so strange?

All of us are, of course, highly intelligent. Most of us have tertiary edukashun, and there are many regular posters with Ph Ds and so on. However, we do not consider ourselves bound by human rules and regulations and will therefore spell words any way we please. We all spell better in English than humans do in Cattish and, besides, how good was your spelling when you were two years old? Some of us also have difficulty spelling because our paws don't fit the human keyboard or because we telepathically send our posts to our humans, who type them for us, and something gets lost in the translation. Some of us, though, send telephatically directly to the computer, which spells most words the way humans do. Those of us who do that have difficulty spelling things strangely.

Other cats have other reasons (in their own spelling):

"Were pretty non-judge-mental talking among ourselves. Not baby-talk, just intellecual discuzzionz. When you talk or write like a human you have ta follow all the rulez. Catz are much better than hoomins at word-play n punz. Has yer hoomin ever been ta a Mask-er-raid party? Same thing. Your're welcome ta talk yer talk n walk yer walk. Have fun n join us. BTW, we ARE quite literate, thank you." - Spike D.O.C.

"Wanted to add, I figure uf catf are clofe to fpellin like back in the dayf of Chaucer. Alfo, Fhakefpeare'f fpellin waf pretty ftange." - Fpike D.O.C

Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote
The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour
of which vertu engenred is the fleur....

Chaucer- Canterbury Tales
"Fhit, yef. Couldn't agree more!" Mike

3. How do I post in meowchat?

It's easy. You just say "Hi, my name is.......... I'm a beautiful cat and would like to talk to all you other kitties". If you are starting a new thread, please put MEOW somewhere in the subject line, so that humans don't get it mixed up with their posts, otherwise they're likely to get upset. If you include food in your first posting, it speeds up the process of making friends, but this is not necessary.

4. What is bad Netiquette in Meowchat?

If you are going to be a serious Net user, the book "Internet for Cats" has a lot of further information on Netiquette for Cats.

5. You use a lot of jargon in Meowchat - what does it all mean?

The Evil Doctor. The men and women that our humans call Vets.
vacuum cleaner(sum call it the antiKrist)
Our hoomin mommy
A serious and long-term relationship between a female and male cat who have both been fixed when they weren't even broke.
Rolled On The Floor Laughing My Tail Off.
d*g (sorry but we aren't allowed to translate this word-it is a sub-cat life form)
a polite word for our humans, instead of the usual terms we use, like two-legged, tailless can-opener or human slave. This is intended to flatter them into giving us lots of access time.
Orange Cat Club, Black Cat Club, Tuxedo Cat Club and > so on. Subgroups of Meowchat.
We don't know what this means either. It's the excuse humans use when they won't let us post for days and days. They always say it's the ISP's fault.

6. How do I open clam shells?

The do-it-yourself way is with a crowbar, or lie on your back with the clams on your chest and hit them with a rock. Alternatively, send them to another cat, who would be happy to open them for your and send you back the nice clean opened clam shells with the nasty insides removed (heeheehee).

Jaeger, Ebony and Sheba

MEOWCHAT is controversial and someone once suggested a list of answers to the "problem " Meows create. Iist follows:

meowchat. code M. modifiers:

M--- it's stupid and meowchatters should be shown the door.
M-- it's fun but does my cat really think that way?
M- i'm afraid meowchat is causing some trouble here.
M0 (zero) no opinion or it's in my killfile
M+ hey, this is fun! but i can't do it myself
M++ meowchat rules
M+++ let's get rid of the humans! they post way too much anyway.


Top Contents


from hoomins' point of view

Well, basically, MEOW or MEOWCHAT is used to designate posts that are written from a cat's point of view (or the human poster's creative version thereof). Some of them are Just For Fun, and some of them have become elaborate group creations--the kitties all went hunting Cadburys recently (being curious about where those chocolate Cadbury eggs come from at Easter, they discovered that a sea-monster sighted off the coast of Vancouver Island was called the Cadburosaurus and figured this must be the Cadbury--so a bunch of them went off in a tuna boat to snare some cadburys which they brought back to be cooked and served at a big party that lots more kitties came to--these adventures are detailed--with photos--in Newton's diary at Newton's Alley. Check it out! It's a delight!). They've also had a souven hunt (for the souven ears--say it out loud--which they found quite tasty). Now they're planning a prom--the Fur Ball--for next weekend. And a mentor-mentee convention in June. (My cats seem to have a much more active social life than I ever did!)

In other posts, the kitties ask their friends for advice on what happens when they get taken to get their teeth cleaned, or ask for "purrs" to help a sick kitty get better -- these posts can be surprisingly informative or helpful, especially when someone with an ailling cat gets lots of replies of concern and support.

And some of the posts are just plain silly--wordplay and puns and jokes--just having fun.

There seems to be an evolving MEOWchat "dialect," that some have characterized as "baby-talk," but is more a combination of phonetic spelling, imaginative constructions, puns, etc.--some cats post in more conventional English than others, and there have been a variety of discussions (some quite heated :-( ) about whether or not the MEOWchat-ese is understandable, desirable, enjoyable, etc.

For myself, I find it an enlightening exercise to try to imagine how the world might look from my cat's point of view, or how my very different cats would each respond to a particular situation. I've met some great people through MEOWchat, and have had an incredible amount of fun. It's a great group, and very welcoming, so if you've a mind, tell your cats (it can be hard to get the computer away from them once they start, though). On the other hand, ymmv, and there are some folks who are not quite so, shall we say, enthusiastic about MEOWchat -- for those who have killfile capabilities or other ways to sort out wanted from unwanted posts, we try to remember to put MEOW in the header to make that easier, and to make it clear that cats are posting here. But give it some time if you can--it can really
(Hoomin to Ceilidh & Skye
Mom to Talisker Pippin)

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