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Kitty Aerobics turns to WAR...

by Jenniffer

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So there I was, sleeping peacefully with Peachie on my chest looking like the most beautiful meatloaf I've ever seen. When Daddy comes home about 6:30 that morning, I roll over to the side of the bed so he can sleep too. This disrupts Peaches' slumber. She awakens with a start to find her warm and peaceful bed moving in the most unforgivable fashion. As her bed moves, so does she - she's not about to let it go. I roll over onto my side while Peaches walks daintily along with my movements - looking like a lumberjack in a log-rolling contest.

Daddy, by this time, has the nerve to laugh at her antics, which angers Peaches to the highest degree. I roll over once more to look at Daddy and see why Daddy is laughing, only to find that the queen must make another death-defying move once again. She circles once on my side before allowing herself to implement happy paws (right along the side of my, uh, 'upper frontal chestal area' - not a happy spot) while glaring at Daddy for laughing at her!! Daddy is still laughing and Peaches' eyes narrow to slits. Trying to control the humor, Daddy reaches out to pet the queen and beg her for her forgiveness, but Peaches will have none of it. She lays her ears back, hisses her most vicious spit and bats at his hand with her paw - claws, of course, extended to the fullest. This angers Daddy, who makes a quick swipe at her rear end, nudging it off of Mommy and onto the cold bed covers. This means war. Looking dignified, She walks calmly to the end of the bed, over Mommy's feet, up between Mommy and Daddy, sprawls peacefully on her side with Her paws kneading Mommy's arm and pretends to sleep.

Daddy laughs. But he hasn't won yet. Daddy tries to kiss Mommy, only to find a mouthful of fur and four deep red wounds across his chest. Peaches wants him nowhere near Mommy. Daddy tries again with the same result. Half an hour later, the war reaches it's climax. Daddy looks as if attacked by a barbed wire fence. Peaches as beautiful as ever. Daddy is as mad as a hornet. He uncerimoniously grabs Peaches, hissing and clawing all the way, and tosses her on her rear outside the door. Peaches has never been outside in this strange new home called an apartment. But she doesn't worry. She knows Mommy will save her. Her most dejected meoooooww? brings Mommy to the door within seconds to cuddle the baby and reassure her it's alright. And evil glint in kitty's eyes tells one and all that she is a force not to be reckoned with... And Daddy sleeps on the sofa bed that night. Score one for the Queen...

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