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Pilau Pandora

by Helen Miles, Caterham, Surrey, UK


This evening, on my way home from a meeting, I decided I didn't want to cook, and so stopped for a "take-out" curry on the way home. (Friday night and all that).

I am highly original when it comes to curry, I always have the same... Chicken Korma, Pilau Rice and Garlic naan bread (adventurous is not my middle name where curry is concerned).

I came in through the door, and was met by Pandora. As a feral, who grew up on a diet of "junk-food", she has smell receptors that can pick up the smell of a take-out curry dish at 1000 paces. Her little nose started twitching.... (Her nose does a very good twitch). She followed me into the kitchen, nose and whiskers still twitching, and squeaked. (Meows are kept for her beloved Sam). I tipped the aromatic Indian mixture onto a plate.

She squeaked louder. And then she did something she has never done before. She jumped up on the counter. Only she miscalculated the jump. And she landed in the plate of chicken curry. I don't know who was more surprised; the curry, or Pandora.

The curry decided that assault by a cat was a deadly insult. So the curry started to fight back in true Indian warrior style, by grabbing the paws and climbing up the pristine white furry socks. You know... the this is what my great-grandfather used to fight the Sultan Tipoo when he tried to castrate his best racing camel in the Delhi Wad-waddi move. Well!! Pandora was having none of it! Molestation by a mere curry?? (and a mild one at that!) She would never live it down!!

The problem was, because she had miscalculated her jump so badly, there was no-where for her to go. The microwave was laughing at her, the toaster was having hysterics, and I was blocking the graceful exit. So she followed the old cat adage........ the one her mother taught her as a tiny kitten, and she has worked hard ever since to remember. If in doubt....... sit down and wash the base of your tail really quickly. This works. (Unless you are being molested by a mild curry.)

They say cat tastes like chicken. Cat hair certainly does.....


Editor's note:

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