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Petty Conflict

by Pam Shirk, North Carolina, USA


Ok, I'm guilty. I ended the world again yesterday and I won't fix it. Tanada has been glaring balefully at me ever since the snow started yesterday afternoon. Berfert won't let me touch him, Merlin keeps looking out the window as if the world were going to change again in front of his very eyes. Penelope has been hiding from being in sight of the window as if the weather is going to come in and get her. QC and PC have been demanding to go out and have been surprised when I let them.

Pine Cone does not have a high tolerance for cold. He has an even lower one for snow. He has decided that QC is either insane or a goddess. QC says that PC is a wimp, for climbing on top of the wood pile to get away from the white stuff. She, brave and wondrous cat that she is, glories in standing in the snow and sprinkling her fabulous fur with white dots. Its the most comfortable she's felt in over a year.

Pine Cone walked out last night and saw that the white stuff was still coming down and was sticking to the ground. Maybe it was good? He walked out into it and found out two things. It is cold and wet, and it hit his little head with cold and wet. THE SKY WAS FALLING!!! He told me about it and demanded that I do something. I laughed. PC was upset. Meowmie let the sky drop onto his pointed little head and then laughed about it. He growled and attacked the dots that were falling from the sky. QC laughed at him from her post in the middle of the yard. She was starting to look like a case for "Head and Shoulders" shampoo. PC tried several times to catch those nasty attacking dots, but they eluded him every time. All they did was pee on his tongue. Mean nasty things. Offended, he retreated to a strategic position on top of the wood pile.

Finally Meowmie went inside and he went in too, just to protect her from the evil white dots. Tanada and Berfert were standing in the windows laughing at him. He took care of them, then came back into the living room and perched triumphantly on top of the floor cushions. Those two weren't going to laugh at him again in a hurry. He bet that Tanada wouldn't come out from under the bed for a week. And Berfert...was back.

Berfert is terrified of miniature humans and cats, but PC was no longer a miniature. Berfert stalked up to where PC was sitting and, shame of it all, sniffed PC's butt. PC launched himself at Berfert, determined not to accept a further insult from the old man. Merlin got in the way and took the "Killing Blow" intended for Berfert.

Tanada came into the room to see what all the excitement was about and found that Penelope was in "HER" spot near the fireplace. This couldn't be allowed. The fight was on. The two girls rolled around the floor by the fireplace almost dislodging Merlin from his new post under my rocking chair. Apparently Merlin has decided that I'm the best protection from the outside world, since I started the whole thing anyhow.

By this time QC was ready to come back inside. She stalked into the house, all covered in snow flakes and proceeded to sit in the middle of the carpet in front of the fireplace and in the middle of the battling broads. The girls realized that there was no longer any space to fight for and stopped to watch Berfert and PC in action.

Berfert has his own curious sort of dignity. Sort of an anti-dignity in a way. He was sitting there with a big grin on his face while PC jumped on him from every angle he could think of. PC even climbed the cat tower to get elevation on Berfert. None of it worked. Berfert just sat there watching the kid in action, and grinning. Frustrated, PC finally gave up and stalked off to hide out in Mandy's room.

Have I ever told you about Mandy's room? Its the hideout of last resort. Mandy always seems to know when cats are in there and visits them. This means that the cats never go in there unless they're indulging in a major fit of the sulks and no longer care about the indignity of being mauled by the human girl. PC endured Mandy for almost a half hour, a new world record. He finally came out, avoided Berfert by walking on the far side of the room from him and perched himself on the cat tower so that he could watch all assaults aimed in his direction. He could smell home made chili cooking and he knew he'd get some and have revenge on everyone who laughed had laughed at him. I could see the cat licking his chops and grinning.


Editor's note:

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