Story Home Local Next

Pine Cone takes up an Additional Career

by Pam Shirk, North Carolina, USA


I am a highwaycat
Through the household I do run
Use my claws 'stead of a gun
Many a young cat's lost her catnip to my trade
Many a hoomin's lost their blood upon my blades
The b*st*rds neutered me so I can't reproduce,
But I'm still running loose...


Yup, Pine Cone is adding to his job skills. Back at Christmas time Vicky sent me a little stuffed Yowie, the Aussie folk animal her screen name is based on. We put it on the fireplace mantle where it is a conversation piece and becoming a member of the family. Well Pine Cone has always come and gone on the mantle, no matter what we did to make the place unattractive for him. Lately, he's developed an attraction for the Yowie.

Yesterday, I walked into the living room and caught him sitting on the mantle place with the Yowie in his mouth. He growled at me and took off running. He leaped from the mantle to the corner stand to the floor and shot past me with the Yowie still in his mouth. I caught him as he was trying to cram the Yowie and himself under the bed in my bedroom. He was having a hard time getting his considerable paunch to flatten out enough to squeeze in. I pulled him out, grabbed the Yowie, and left the room. PC followed me and watched as I used a towel and wiped it off. I cussed him out and put the Yowie back on the mantle. We went through the same routine again today.

Not only that, but I gave Penelope some catnip earlier today and he pushed her away and ate the 'nip before she could get any. I had to give her some in the bathroom in order for her to have any. Later I gave Berfert some Pounces, and PC took them. I had to lock PC into the bathroom (where he blissfully rolled in what was left of Penny's 'nip) so that I could give Berfert some treats. I gave all the rest of the cats treats as well, but Berfert seems to have realized that Mike is leaving. This doesn't matter to PC, he'll take Berfert's stuff no matter what, but it's hard on the old boy.

As I tried to write this earlier, Pine Cone was lying on my bed, flat on his back, with his legs sprawled in dead starfish formation tempting me to scritch that inviting white tummy, with his shocking pink nose glowing at me, and his tongue sticking out. I tried to resist the urge to scritch his tummy, as I remember the line about hoomins donating blood, but he was too tempting. I figure he only got a little before I got past the blades he's got on each paw.


Editor's note:

Story Home Top Local Next
Top of