You'll never guess from the subject line to whom I refer.
A few minutes ago Patty and I were watching the evening news, when Samantha sat on her haunches right in front of us to watch tv. Between the long hair and the awkward-appearing pose, she looked quite broad in the beam.
Patty commented, "She's almost as wide in the butt as I am."
I, misunderstanding what she'd said, replied, "Nope. Nowhere near."
Wrong answer. The next thing I knew a throw pillow (aptly named, what?) hit me up side the head, followed by a stream of invective matched in living memory only by the time I dropped a spanner wrench on a Master Chief Petty Officer's foot during a particularly hairy breakdown in the path of following seas during a storm.
Do florists take phone orders from a doghouse?