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I played in one once with a player who said it was his first Speedball, and he hoped he could keep up. I got the entry and told him which table to go to. I went to get a drink and when I returned he was busy shuffling. Opponents arrived and while dealing four piles of cards at the speed of the Concorde in flight, he told us in a strained voice that he had done the other two boards. Then he placed the cards in the slot and said "Speedball, we better get started."
His tempo for the first three boards was about that of Bridge Baron's--perhaps 0.05 seconds per bid. He declared the first two hands and claimed after three tricks on the first, then before playing from dummy on the second. On the third hand it went pass pass pass to the Speedball Rookie and we were interrupted by the Director's brief announcement:
"Evening folks, we have 14 teams, four rounds of seven boards, if you haven't yet made your crossover, do so now; A with B, you know how it goes, find the table with the same number in the other section. 20 point VP scale; I'll post copies of it around for everyone. Don't forget this is a Speedball event, you have to complete the boards a little bit faster than you may be used to. Good luck to all."
It seemed like a good time for me to shout "CADDY!" (I'd noticed that pard had placed his cards back in the slot during the Director's announcement.) The caddy took our boards to the other table. One of our teammates got up and bellowed a sacrilegious oath in our direction, followed by "...we haven't even finished shuffling yet!"
Editor's note:
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