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The Great Feline Hunters...

by Helen Miles, Caterham, Surrey, UK


Why on EARTH did I get three cats??? I have been doing some basic research - and have decided that three cats does not equal three times the trouble of one, but three times multiplied indefinitely!!

His Royal Feline Lordship Tiger and his right paw cat, Sir Robertson have been supervising William (a.k.a. Fat-boy) and his first proper trip into the great wide wild unknown....for that, read a trip into next doors garden.....just a gentle stroll, nothing strenuous....

Where William was shown the placement of the dust bin, which is under the kitchen window.....and the fish pond, which is close to the bin......and the (very stupid) dog........

They have also been showing him how to hunt......Royal feline style. My next door neighbour, a lovely lady called Ruth, bakes cakes....very nice cakes....until a certain Black Royal feline paw gets stuck right in the middle of the jam sponge which is cooling on the window sill.......

A scream of BAS**RD CAT ensues, Higgins, Ruth's dog leaps through the kitchen window, yapping his head off as if his mother was the Hound of the Baskervilles, and his father was the American werewolf, Tiger levitates to the top of a 15ft tree, screaming like his tail was on fire, Robbie leaps from the window sill, lands in the pond, walks on water, gets onto the fence shouting for assistance, Higgins tears around the garden trying to catch imaginary (by now) cats, and William.......just sits there. He just sits on the bin.........and supervises the bedlam with a look of What IS going on? on his utterly baffled face. He then calmly picks up a fairy cake (which is also cooling on the window sill) jumps through my window, and drops the cake on my lap.

Who said I didn't train my cats well??!!!

They are available for a price......


Editor's note:

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