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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, certainly no mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hope they'd be filled with good things to share;
The people were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Christmas danced in their heads;
Princess was snoozing, I napped just a little
Then settled down into my lonely night vigil,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
A man shouting and laughing as mad as a hatter.
Away to the window I pounced in a flash,
Tore open the shutters and climbed up the sash.
The moonlight revealed the wind-driven snow
And things to be chased! And places to go!
When, what should appear above the dark houses,
But a sleigh, pulled along by enormous horned mouses,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I thought to myself, "What makes this guy tick?"
More rapid than house flies his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, like one quite insane;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
And you others, I guess my memory needs fixin'!
To the top of the roof! And don't let me fall!
Or we'll need to make a side trip to the mall!"
Surely as I know how to make a grown man cry,
And by clawing his chair bring a tear to his eye,
So up to the house-top the mouses they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and fresh catnip too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the deck
The scamper of mice; I thought "What the heck?"
As I sharpened my claws, and was turning around,
Down the chimney this strange guy came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe,
Politically incorrect as fashions now go;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his shoulder,
I saw them and then I began feeling bolder.
His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples - how funny
His cheeks were like roses, his nose a bit runny!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in smile,
He was carrying catnip I can smell it a mile;
The stump of a pipe he held tight like a charm,
I hoped that the smoke wouldn't trip the alarm;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
But the smoke from that pipe was a little too smelly.
Just then he saw me, he leaned and drew near,
And put me at ease when he scratched on my ear;
And letting me know I had nothing to dread,
He gave me a couple of pats on the head.
He spoke not a word, but dumped out the toys
And we played for a while, a night full of joys!
Then laying his finger aside of his nose,
Sneezed several times and up the chimney he rose;
And then he explained the awful truth that,
In real life he's quite allergic to cat.
He gathered himself and climbed in his sleigh
And said "For one night it was sure fun to play!"
While I settled down to my own special treat,
Made of toys and of catnip and good things to eat
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all ACHOOOOOO!! And good night!"
Editor's note:
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