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Party cats

by David Yehudah, Bellflower, CA, USA

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Howdy again. I just wanted to tell y'all about my party cats. Last night Patty got mad and yelled at me, so I went to sleep in the guest room. There was a bottle of Jose Cuervo under the mattress, right where I remembered putting it, and I was just sitting there on the bed drinking out of the bottle and feeling sorry for myself, when I saw Traveler's paw appear under the door. He was just kind of pawing around, the way they do, so I leaned over and let a couple of drops of tequila fall on his paw.

Well, when a cat's paw gets wet like that, what does he do? He yanked it back and licked it dry. Traveler's like that, real neat. Anyway, I guess that's what he did, because a moment later he stuck his paw back under the door. So I let another couple of drops fall on it. He yanked it back and immediately shoved it back under the door and got a few more drops.

Next thing you know, Willoughby had his paw waving under the door, then Sash joined in. Between the three of them, they polished off quite a bit of Joe Crow. Then the dog started howling. I stuck my head out the door and saw that the three cats had chased the dog halfway up the ladder to the catwalk. The poor thing just hung there howling for mercy, not at all like the way things usually went around here, and the cats were giving each other five's. Then they started chasing one another in circles, until Traveller got dizzy and ran into the wall. He immediately tried to pounce on Willoughby but missed and hit Sasha. Sasha started crying and whimpering, then nearly clawed Willoughby's ears off, he having gotten in the way of a blow aimed at Traveller.

For a moment there was only a blur of various colors of fur. Sasha fell out first, then Willoughby. Traveller stayed in the affray until he managed to whip himself thoroughly.

I tried to go to bed and sleep, but I was kept awake by their awful singing for nearly an hour.

The next morning, there was not a cat to be seen. There were, however, occasional whimpers from unseen sources that got louder whenever someone made a loud noise. I put some Bloody Mary mix in a saucer, and all three of them crept out and lapped up a bit of it. Such a woebegone bunch you've never seen before, except maybe the day after a frat party.

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Editor's note:

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