I've laughed so much about to-day's Ollie and Ted's episode that I had to write it down.
Ted arrived this morning to paint the kitchen. "Is Ollie around?" he asked.
We went searching. Ollie was in the rose garden, torturing a mouse. My heart bled for that mouse. "Let's get it off him" I said.
Soft-hearted Ted agreed. He bent over. "Hello, Ollie Baby," he said.. Ted is one of Ollie's favourite people and he just had to say hello back.
Ollie opened his mouth and yowled "Hello Ted." The mouse jumped out of his mouth and I grabbed Ollie. Ted dived into the rose garden after the mouse. Shortly he emerged, badly pricked by the roses but holding an ailing mouse by the tail.
Ollie did a dance around Ted trying to climb up his leg. I managed to hold the cat down. "What am I going to do with it?" gasped Ted.
"Let's put it over the back fence by the poplars," I yelled back. We got to the fence, pursued by Ollie and Ted fired the mouse over the fence into the long, soft grasses. As he did so he let out a shriek. "That ungrateful mouse bit me," he yelled. Ted held up his finger and showed a spot of blood flowing from the finger tip. His voice quavered. "Do you think that I'll catch something?" he said.
An uncontrollable wave of wickedness washed over me. "You'll probably get rabies," I choked. I couldn't keep the laughter back much longer.
"Rabies," repeated Ted, staring at his finger. Then sanity prevailed. "We don't have rabies in New Zealand."
I tried again. "Well, there's bubonic plague, typhoid, ......" but Ted wasn't listening. He'd decided to apply his own remedies - he thrust his finger in his mouth and sucked it.
Editor's note:
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