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Kiddy's Night Out -- Part I

by Roger Hooker


Once, when he was about two years old, Kiddy somehow got loose from his leash while he was outside taking care of some 'business.' We never did find out what happened to him that night but when he returned, he seemed to lose his interest in exploring the Great Outdoors. Anyway, I often wondered what he did that night so I tried to put some imagination to work and piece together his 'walk on the wild side.' It turned out a lot longer than I imagined so here's Part I. If there's any further interest, I can post the remaining two parts (separately, of course) to avoid the one big honking post. So, without any further comments, here's 'Kiddy's Night Out.'


It was ending as a normal enough day. My meowmy was away visiting her mother, leaving my paw and me to 'batch' it. It was early evening, time for me to do my business outside so I meowed at Paw. In turn, he put the rope on me, opened the door and let me out. (I preferred to do my business outside instead of the litter box so my parents let me outside on a leash.) He followed me outside, sitting down on the steps in front of our trailer. All was going well as I relieved myself. As I was finishing, the phone rang so my hu-male went inside to answer it. If you looked toward the back of our property, there was a small tangle of jungle-some trees, high grass, etc. Some sort of movement (probably a grasshopper-I love grasshopper!) caught my attention and I sauntered over to investigate.

Slowly approaching my potential prey in the appropriate cat-like manner (slinking close to the ground, taking slow, deliberate steps), I found that whatever had moved was gone. So I continued into the brushy area and began inspecting. Somehow, part of a sapling latched onto my harness. As I backed up to remove the offending shrubbery, the front part of my harness easily slipped over my head. Not really thinking anything about it, I continued exploring. Unbeknownst to me, the second part of my harness slo wly slipped down my waist until it plopped on the ground. I stepped out of it and continued to roam.

However, something was unusual! I walked and walked, venturing farther and farther from the trailer and yet nothing was holding me back. This was clearly uncharted territory and I was enjoying my newfound freedom! Soon I was completely out of sight of the trailer and on my own! A short time later, I heard my Paw yelling (didn't know he could holler that loud!) for me but this was too much fun! Night was fast approaching and I must admit I was a little apprehensive. I am a HOUSE cat--not an outdoor feline--so being outside for this long was unique for me. Still, my cat-like senses kicked in and began to guide me. (Some call them instincts. I call them the Power of Cat-my primal psyche. Every cat, from the pre-Egyptian felines to today's model has them. Being domesticated have dulled many of these over the centuries yet amazingly, they made their presence known whenever danger lurked!) As the dark took over, I started sniffing and smelling, taking in all the glorious new scents. I walked along, coming to what I believe the humans call a fence. 'Curious invention,' I said to myself as I walked along side of it.

Suddenly and without warning, a huge hairy beast on the other side of the fence ran at me, screaming with full voice. "ARRR, ARRR, ARRR," it snarled as it flashed its huge teeth. For a split second, I didn't realize what it was but then my Power of Cat instincts kicked in.

"DOG! DOG! DOG!" it blared! "RUN, RUN, RUN!" it told me so I ran. Fast. Very, very fast. As I scooted across the ground, the Power of Cat told me to head for a tree and climb it. The nearest one was just to my right so I swerved and sunk my just sharpened claws into it as I hoisted myself up. (By the way, I'd never climbed a tree! It's a good thing dear Mom told me to always keep my claws sharp, as you never know when you might need them. I didn't pay to much attention then but I'm glad I heeded her advice as I grew older!)

I arrived at a branch that was mid way up. When I stopped, I noticed the only sound I now heard was my heart beating at a rapid rate. Thankfully, the dog had quit barking. After a few minutes, my breathing slowed and my heart quit pounding. I surveyed my location. Lots and lots of leaves. Good hiding material! I walked out along the limb I was on and then walked back. Strong. It shouldn't break.

I continued surveying my site, looking up down. As I looked down, I spotted something else! It looked like.yes.another cat! I looked closer was my old buddy Ralph! Ralph is an old buddy, an orange tabby tom that sometimes visits me while I was outside on my leash.

"Psst!" I whispered. "Ralph! Hey Ralph!"

The little furry one stopped, cocked his ear, and looked around. Finally, he looked up and spied me.

"Kiddy? Is that you?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah, Ralph! Surprise!" I replied.

"What the heck are you doing out here? You're a house cat!"

"Ha! My leash let go of me and here I am!" I claimed proudly.

"Cool! By the way, what are you doing up in that tree?"

"That dog over there!" I said, nodding my head in the canine's direction. "Aren't you worried he'll come after you?"

Ralph smirked and then said "Nah, Kiddy! He's behind a fence and he's so fat and stupid, he won't jump over. So you can come down."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Kiddy, trust me on this. Watch!"

Ralph kitty-strutted over to the fence. The dog began barking ferociously at the orange tabby.

"Ahh.shut up, you reject from the dog pound! You smelly, slobbering boy dog! Your mother's a bitch! That make you an (expletive deleted)."

The dog reacted as ... well ... a dog. He barked, he jumped, he drooled, and he barked some more!

"Watch this, Kiddy!" Ralph said with a wink of his eye.

Ralph got closer to the fence. The closer he got the more intense the reaction from the dog. Finally, the canine's nose was partially sticking through the cyclone fence links not more than two inches from Ralph. Ralph calmly sat down, watched the dog for a few seconds, then lifted his paw and ... THWACK! His paw, with claws fully extended, caught the dog on the soft, black part of his nose. The dog let out a yelp and beat a hasty retreat to his doghouse.

"See? Piece of cake!"

My fears allayed, I slowly descended the tree and approached Ralph. After the traditional smelling of butts (" need to clean yourself a little better back here." "Yeah? Okay, thanks Kiddy!"), we sauntered off. As we were walking, Ralph continued our conversation.


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