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Going Outside

by Roger Hooker


I closed the closet door and slipped into my jeans (which had just come out of the dryer about three days before). As I finished fastening the waist, I turned towards our bed, only to be confronted by two pair of angry eyes.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" said the voice belonging to the orange-colored eyes (AKA Tabby).

"Umm.putting on some clean clothes. Something wrong?"

"Yes," replied the voice of the green eyes (AKA Reina). "We spent several hours rubbing against you, making sure you're marked properly. We finally finish and YOU change your clothes. Do you know how frustrating that is?"

"Huh? 'Marking' me?" I queried?

Tabby chimed in. "Come on! You know what we're talking about! When we rub up against you, we're putting our scents on you."

"Oh ... I just thought you guys just liked nuzzling against us. I didn't realize there was a higher purpose involved."

"Well, of course, we love to rub and be rubbed ... (Scratch my belly, will ya', huh??) but there's more involved. Anytime we rub up against something, we're marking it so that other cats know we 'own' it. Chairs, walls ... you name it, we'll mark it!" replied Reina.

As I finished rubbing Reina's undercarriage, I responded: "Well, I kind of knew that... but you also mark us humans?"

"But of course! How else are the other pussy cats gonna know you belong to us when you go outside. We don't another feline 'catnapping' you!" smiled Tabby, who obviously enjoyed the pun.

"Tabby, Reina ... I hardly ever see any other cats when I'm outside," I protested.

"Doesn't matter," replied Reina, "According to the Traditions of Cat Code Book, Sec 5, paragraph 8, '... all humans who belong to cats shall be marked accordingly!' Maybe you don't realize or care but you're representing us to catdom when you're outside!"

"Sorry, guys.I didn't think about that.but if I don't change my clothes, they'll start to smell really back and I'll attract some undesirables," I noted. "Like," and I completed my statement in a very low, soft voice, "dogs."

Tabby's ears perked up rather briskly and Reina quickly responded, "What did you SAY??? I can't believe it! Did you say the 'D' word?"

"Well.yeah...sorry.but I'll have 'them,'" I said, cautiously avoiding that word, "all over me, if I don't change my clothing once in awhile.."

"Hmmm.perhaps you're right," said Tabby while raising one of his eyebrows. "We certainly don't want you coming back smelling of them. But please, for us, try not to change so quickly, okay?"

"I'll try, guys, I promise!"

With that the entire staff of the feline division jumped off the bed and waddled down the hall. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see them rubbing things. I could also hear 'Ohhh.this is mine!' 'This, too!' and 'This belongs to me!' as they spread their scents throughout the house.

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