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WOW! or gol dang cats!

by Andrew Smith, Udell, IA, USA

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My girl friend Ashley came over today and just walked in, then she dropped her purse on the floor. For some reason Gypsy didn't run when he heard the door but the crash of 87 pounds of assorted junk nearly scared the fur off of him. He made a scrambling leap over the back of the couch, knocking several three ringed binders off in the process then he jumped to the island and knocked a 17" wok off onto the floor. That noise scared him even more and he did half a lap around the kitchen walls at shoulder level and knocked over, and spilled, a big can of hot chocolate mix and shifted the microwave about four inches.

I am guessing that Mongo was behind the couch and the binders landed on him or very near to him because he came over the back of the couch about that time doing around mach 1. He went from the couch to a recliner, then onto a table were he sent a mug full of pens and pencils flying then across the other recliner and onto the table next to that one, knocking the lamp off. Then he flew completely over another chair and knocked a full 1600 count box of Ultimate Combat cards down. Then he climbed three wall in the entry way and then tried to plow his way through the entertainment center head first. He hit it hard enough to make the cd player skip.

Poor Spaz came running to see what all the noise was about. He got to the living room just in time for Gypsy and Mongo to make a mad dash THROUGH him and down the hall. He had no sooner put himself back together when Ashley (basking in oblivious ignorance) snatched him and kissed him. Not a wise move on her part but nobody has every accused her of being smart. Spaz bit her cheek and scratched both of her arms in a desperate bid to get away from Ashley's overpowering perfume which she wears in near toxic amounts.

I told Ashley if she had knocked first Gypsy would have slunk off and not started the cataclysmic chain reaction. She's so cute when she pouts.

To top it all off Ashley had tried to turn into my driveway at about 40 miles an hour (my estimate), never smart on gravel and really not smart when the gravel is covered by three inches of ice and hard packed snow. I had to get my tractor plugged in and pull her car out of the ditch before she could leave. At least she missed the mail box.

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Gopher Editor's note:

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