Cat Lover's guide to Using a Computer

Step One

Feed kitty.

Step Two

Pat kitty till kitty purrs itself to sleep.

Step Three

Very carefully, deposit sleeping kitty in chair nearest the bathroom.

Step Four

Open Back door.

Step Five

Start bath and be sure to rub a little cat shampoo into your hands.

Step Six

Go find your cat.

Step Seven

Cat should have exited post haste by this stage, double check and then close door.

Step Eight

Start your computer.

If Cat appears out of nowhere and starts walking across your key board, deposit cat outside, and check your windows are secure. Restart your computer.

If Cat reappears and you have a cat flap, block cat flap and deposit kitty outside. You can now restart your computer.

If your Cat reappears again, you have a Schrodinger Cat and you must learn to do your computing around your kitty. Suggestion, disable keyboard and purchase a voice activation kit.

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