'Twas the night before Christmas

by Anonymous

with additions by Tim West-Meads and Anne Jones

• 'Twas the night before Christmas
• Two guests in our house
• Were playing some bridge
• With me and my spouse
  
  
• "Please tell me," she shouted
• "Why didn't you double
• Twas plain from the start
• We had them in trouble."
  
  
• "Tis futile, my Dear--
• I am taking no stand
• So please stop your nagging
• Let's play the next hand."
  
  
• "Remember next time"
• She said with a frown
• "To double a contract
• That's sure to go down."
  
  
• So I picked up my cards
• In a downtrodden state
• Then I opened one spade
• and awaited my fate.

NS game Dealer East	9876 65432 8765 --	.
-- QJ109 KQJ109 KQJ10		AKQJ10 AK87 -- A987
.	5432 -- A432 65432

• The guy sitting south
• Was like many I've known
• He bid and played
• In a world all his own
  
  
• "Two diamonds," he countered
• With scarcely a care.
• The Ace in his hand
• Gave him courage to spare
  
  
• My wife, smiling faintly
• And tossing her head
• Leaned over the table,
• "Double," she said
  
  
• And North for some reason
• I cannot determine
• Bid two hearts
• like preaching a sermon
  
  
• I grinned as I doubled
• Enjoying the fun
• And turned round to south
• To see where he would run
  
  
• But south, undistressed
• Not at loss for a word
• came forth with "two spades"--
• Did I hear what I heard?
  
  
• The other two passed
• And in sheer disbelief
• I said "Double, my friend,
• That'll bring you to grief"
  
  
• South passed with a nod
• His composure serene
• My wife with a flourish
• Led out the Heart Queen
  
  
• I sat there and chuckled
• Inside o'er their fix
• But South very calmly
• Ran off his eight tricks
  
  
• He ruffed the first Heart
• In his hand right away
• And then trumped a club
• On the very next play
  
  
• He crossruffed the hand
• At a breathtaking pace
• 'Til I was left holding
• Five spades to the Ace
  
  
• In anguish my wife cried
• "Your mind's growing old
• You should see that Six No Trump
• for us is ice-cold!"
  
  
• By doubling this time
• I'd committed a sin
• It just goes to prove
• That you never can win

Tim West-Meads added

• "I doubled, my dear,
• since I trusted your lead
• A diamond you should
• have produced with great speed.
  
  
• Two thousand points you'd
• find then was our score
• (Not to mention the honours
• to make even more)"

Anne Jones added

• "Your scoring, my darling,
• would have cost us a bomb
• Two thousand points would
• have surely been wrong
  
  
• What trick did they win
• that gives them that score?
• By ditching the diamonds
• we get three hundred more."

Note by Henry C Baell Jr:

The notes to the article indicate that this FIRST appeared in the South African Bulletin in 1993. That is undeniably WRONG!!!!!!!! I FIRST saw it in an old newspaper column written by the great American bridge player and columnist B. J. Becker in the 1950's. I don't remember the exact year, but it was definitely in the 1950's. I had an 'original' cut out from the newspaper for many years, but it disappeared many years ago when moving from one location to another. The page was well dog-eared but otherwise in pretty fair condition. Just wanted to make you aware that this hand has been around a long time.

Editor's note:

• This first appeared in South African Bridge Bulletin in 1993 [but see note above]
• Later it appeared in Bridge Plus and the Bridge-laws mailing list
• Extra verses were added by Tim West-meads of London, England, UK
• Further verses were added by Anne Jones of Cardiff, Wales, UK
• If you want to comment on this article, why not write direct to Tim or Anne?
• They will be pleased to hear from you!

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