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Acrobatic Cat

by David Yehudah, Bellflower, CA, USA


I'm sure most of you are aware how difficult and dangerous it can be trying to interrupt a cat or dog when they're eating, especially if it's something they really, really, really want. Of course, if it's something really good to eat, they won't stop eating, even if they come under attack for it.

This morning Patty wasn't very hungry, so instead of her usual 7 course gourmet breakfast (5 slices of beef bacon and 2 eggs), she opted for a bowl of cereal. She finished the cereal part and left the milk and sugar in the bottom of the bowl and ran out the door at full gallop on the way to work.

I looked up just in time to see Sasha immerse her face into the bowl and start loudly slurping the contents. Dainty, she ain't.

Willoughby heard the commotion and jumped onto the counter from the other side. Sasha never raised her face from the bowl. When Willoughby got up close, she just stuck a paw in his face and kept slurping.

Patty left the stool next to the counter when she got up, so Maccabee jumped on it and put his paws on the counter. That put his face within licking distance of the bowl. But when he tried to get his share, Sasha stuck her other paw in his face and kept slurping, only faster than before.

Now picture this; Sasha has both front legs extended to both sides, paws pushing against the intruders, and when they strain to get closer to the bowl, it raises her body. But she refuses to let her head come up, and as the other two little hairy varmint critters strain against her, they have her doing pushups. Maccabee keeps sticking his tongue out further and further until he looks like an anteater. The trouble is, he can't see where it's going, and all he accomplishes is to lick Willoughby. Willoughby never even gets close to the bowl.

Maccabee started whining and his paws were scrabbling on the stool trying to get enough traction to push just a little harder, but his claws just wouldn't catch hold, Willoughby was slipping and sliding on the Formica countertop, paws flailing for a grip but not quite making it, and the funny thing was, neither Willoughby nor Maccabee knew what they were trying to get. All they knew was Sasha was getting it all, and they wanted their share.

Just about then Mac unexpectedly got traction, and before he could catch himself, the stool shot out from under him. That caused him to whomp his chin on the counter and fall to the floor. The sudden loss of support on that side caused Sasha to go face first into the bowl. Willoughby shot halfway across her and landed with his chest and most of his body weight on Sasha's head, which was still in the bowl. Lucky it was nearly empty, or she might have drowned.

Sasha was not amused. She didn't know, actually didn't have the foggiest, who was to blame for her discomfiture, but someone was going to pay for it. She let out a screech you could hear to Jericho and took a swipe at Willoughby that would have decapitated him if he hadn't already been moseying along. Mac didn't even wait to see what she was ticked at, he just shoved. He and Willoughby tied for the bedroom door.

There they had another problem. The door was only standing open far enough for one of them at a time to get through, and the angle at which they hit it made it try to close rather than open farther.

They jammed there side by side for an awful moment while each tried to push the other aside and get through first. Probably both of them were thinking, "I don't have to outrun her, I just have outrun you!"

Willoughby turned out to be the more intelligent of the two. He just leaped on top of Maccabee and rode him through the doorway. He probably thought he was pretty smart until Mac ran under the bed and raked him off.

Sasha stayed and finished off the milk and sugar. The boys are still cowering under the bed.

Good way to start the morning, what?


Editor's note:


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