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The Kitten E-Mails - E-Mail from Clyde

by Beverley, Napier, New Zealand


Hi Peoples,

I am a blue Burmese kitten and my name is Clyde. I know my sister Bonnie has asked for help and I want to put matters straight. Bonnie is a Drama Queen and a pain!!!

Whenever I get settled on my favourite teat she shoves me off and grabs it for herself - so rude!!

I love being washed by 'the tongue'. It makes me feel warm and squirmy with delight. On the other hand when Bonnie is washed she yells the place down - so unsettling and unnecessary.

When we pile ourselves in a heap to sleep Bonnie isn't satisfied until she gets to the warmest place at the bottom of the heap - so selfish!!

That kitten is always hatching escape plans. One day she disappeared over the side of our box and had to be dragged back - so undignified.

I am waiting for the day when I am a mature cat and head of my own kingdom. There will be no other cat to bother me. Hopefully there will be plenty of human slaves to wait on me. I am an aristocrat and expect to be treated as one. I can't wait!!

That is where you come in. Anyone can apply to be my slave. I am conducting interviews in my box from now on.


PS If you contact me be prepared to have your private parts washed by 'the tongue'. You will love it!!!!


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