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The Kitten E-Mails - The Terrible Tongue

by Beverley, Napier, New Zealand


Hi Peoples,

My name is Bonnie. I am a Burmese kitten and am being chased by a Terrible Tongue which belongs to my mother.

My eyes were barely open when I noticed the Terrible Tongue. You should have seen it - like a wriggling, pink snake it was and there was no escape. It grabbed me, tipped me over and displayed all my most private parts to the world. It was so humiliating. How would you like your bottom being washed like that? I screamed for help but it didn't do a bit of good.

I tried to get help from my four brothers and sisers but they just lay there like slugs letting the tongue have its wicked way with them. What wimps!!! That prickly tongue leaves us all wet and shivering.

When I was able to crawl I managed to box myself into a corner of our prison and face the Terrible Tongue head on. I hissed and spat and yowled. It was no good. The tongue attacked. But I held my ground.

It was a marvellous fight - me twisting and tumbling and using my loudest voice in yelling for help. In the end the Terrible Tongue got me but my mother had to put a paw on my chest to held me down. A small but important victory, I thought.

I decided to escape. While the other dopey kittens were burping and playing I threw myself at the walls of our prison again and again. Four days it took me. I succeeded one day when the keeper of the Terrible Tongue was away - claws hooked and held on the edge of the prison wall. It was a desperate struggle to pull myself up and over the wall. I crashed to the floor on the other side. I was bruised and exhausted but I had made it. What a triumph.

Of course I took off as fast as I could. The world was waiting for me.

It is a sad thing when you have wobbly legs. I hadn't even reached the door before my mother pounced. The Terrible Tongue nearly swallowed me and hard teeth hurt my neck. I was cruelly dragged back to prison and dumped!!

I am a desperate kitten and need help. Please email me with your suggestions about what I should do.


PS. Be careful how you contact me. It is possible you could be attacked by the Terrible Tongue and have your bottom washed!!!


Editor's note:

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