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Oh ho, he he, giggle giggle

by Beverley, Napier, New Zealand

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Ollie has regular attacks of madness - usually in the morning. There is a certain pattern. He swings behind the stereo and thunders around behind the set ripping out the wires. Before I can get there he's on to the next watering hole. It involves skidding upside down around and under the side of the sofa. I let out a desperate shriek but it is too late - the claw sharpening episode is over. A quick up and down chase over the sideboard and occasional tables usually disposes of an ornament or two - then it's away into the bathroom. Sliding down the side of the spa bath is enormous fun and leaves satisfactory scratches on the sides; by now I can almost hear him laughing - 'oh ho, he he, giggle giggle'. Into the toilet we go for a couple of wild swings around the toilet bowl. A bit of claw sharpening on the mat goes on here if I haven't managed to catch up. Then it's off into the wash house. There are two big concrete tubs there, next to the washing machine. He leaps from the floor into tub number one and then does a dashing spring into tub number two. Soap powder showers down from a nearby shelf. 'Oh ho, he he, giggle giggle.' If I'm unlucky the whole performance starts again.

But things were different this morning. Ollie did his routine and sped into the wash house. He jumped into tub number one. 'No' I shouted, 'don't do it, Ollie.' It was no good. Nothing could stop him. He gave a magnificent spring into tub number 2. Splash. They had turned off the water to clean the pipes and I had filled tub number 2 to the top, with water for emergencies. 'Oh ho, he he, giggle giggle'. It's not often I score one and I couldn't help gloating. I must say Ollie does quite a nice dog paddle. The cat loathes water and almost yowled the house down.

Of course, I rescued him quickly. Was he grateful? Not a bit.. He gave me the dirty look of the century and deliberately shook himself - so hard that he practically dislocated his back. I wilted, drenched under a shower of water. 'Oh ho, he he, giggle giggle.'

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Editor's note:

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