Groundhog Day

by Beverley, Napier, New Zealand

I was in the twilight zone the other morning - it's a lovely place between sleep and waking. My ear was tickling slightly but that didn't intrude too much. Then it happened. "MEOW" shouted the cat, right in my ear hole. I shot into the air and landed wide awake beside a smirking Ollie. I lay back in bed as my pounding heart settled down. Ollie has a voice of ear-splitting dimensions and was obviously thrilled at my reaction. He struggled to get back to my ear - "MEOW, MEOW, MEOW" he screamed again. I closed my eyes, pulled up the bedclothes over my head and pretended to go to sleep. I couldn't let the cat win - once he knew the value of his strategy life wouldn't be worth living.

I dozed off after a bit. "MEOW", bellowed the cat in my ear hole. He had wormed his way under the bedclothes and stalked my ear from another direction. I jerked bolt upright in bed, heart racing like a trip hammer. "Jez," John growled, "what are you doing to the bloody cat?"

The injustice of his remark hit me. "It's what he's doing to me" I snarled.

The cat couldn't be hungry. He had a huge dispenser-type container full of crunchies for snacking in the kitchen. As I reeled out to the kitchen I glanced out of the window. Ollie had drilled a hole in the plastic rubbish bag and some elderly steaks and fish bones were decorating the lawn. I filled up his plate with a mammoth meal and staggered back to bed.

I seem to remember a film called Groundhog Day - where the man keeps re-living the same day. Unfortunately, once the cat learns something, he never forgets it. The re-run went like this - 'I was in the twilight zone this morning "MEOW" shouted the cat, right in my ear hole ..... ' I did try to get my revenge later in the morning. The cat was slumbering, stretched out in the sunny patio. He was weary after a morning of tiling with Ted. I crept up to him on my hands and knees. I lowered my head to his ear and screamed "MEOW". Ollie wriggled with pleasure, stretched and lifted half an eyelid. How could I have forgotten - the cat loved noise. "Meow", he said.

Editor's note:

• If you want to comment on this article, why not write direct to Beverley?
• She will be pleased to hear from you!
• If you want to see what Ollie looks like then click here!

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