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'ow, ow, I want to go out in the Rain

by Beverley, Napier, New Zealand

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Ollie hates water but regards warm, soft rain as a sort of cat aphrodisiac. He seems to think that there is no relationship between the rain and water.

The place was desperately dry when soft rain started yesterday. The cat was alert immediately and sitting in front of the front screen door. "'ow, 'ow, I want to go out." Naturally I opened the door, what else would a cat slave do?

He arrived back a couple of hours later. "'ow, 'ow, I want to come in."

He was soaked and had to be dried with a towel. Drying was a lovely tickling sort of game and required the use of all the cat's feet and teeth. I was punctured and bleeding. But what else could I do. He was threatening to dry-off his dripping body on the computer or the TV.

After he was nicely dry he swallowed a plate of food and slept until night-time. Then it started again. "'ow, 'ow, I want to go out in the rain."

Jez. Sometimes that cat pushes me past the limit of human endurance. "You're nice and dry" I told him. "We're all going to bed. You won't get back in if you go outside again to-night."

You should have heard that cat laugh. Since when have I ever carrried out a single threat!

He began singing around 1.00 a.m. "'ow, 'ow, I want to come in out of the rain."

I pushed open the window beside my bed, let him in and closed it again. Have you ever wanted to remain asleep. I closed my eyes. This time, I vowed, I would ignore the cat.

A soaking wet body was moving around my head. He lay on my face. "'ow, ow."

Jez. Ollie was soaked and covered in mud. He smelled as if he had had a run-in with a long dead corpse. The sheets and clean bed coverlet were covered in mud. It took at least half an hour to dry him. He went to sleep but woke at 4.00 a.m. "'ow, 'ow, I want to go out." It was still raining. I did as I was told.

Before drifting off to sleep I spared a thought for all the water-logged sparrows. Please God, don't let Ollie find them.

It was 7.00 a.m when I woke again. "'ow, ow." said a voice outside the window. It was still raining. The weather-man says it could last for days.

Jez.

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Editor's note:

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