My cat-loving friend Helen, rang and I settled back in my recliner for a cat chat. Bonnie landed on my chest and yowled into the phone.
"Ohhhhh," said Helen, "is that one of the babies."
"Mnffffff," I said, Bonnie was sitting on my mouth.
"Oh," said Helen, they must be so adorable.
I wasn't listening. I didn't like the way Bonnie was looking at me. She was indulging in a close examination of my face. Without any warning, she sharply bit the end of my nose! "EEeeeeeeek," I screamed into the phone!! She has teeth like needles.
I put down the phone and wiped the blood from my nose. I put Bonnie on the floor. Lesson, number one, - Bonnie is a boomerang kitten and hates being on the floor. She did a smart overpaw action up my bare leg and arrived back under my chin by the time I had picked up the phone again.
"Ohhh, the little darling is purring," gushed Helen.
I gritted my teeth, my legs and my nose were stinging. Bonnie was yowling into the phone, answering Helen's coos of delight.
Crash, Clyde jumped on Bonnie's head from the top of the recliner. The pair did a clawing, pouncing circut around my head.
"What are they doing?" Helen was dying to get in the act.
"Hang on," I said. I picked up the pair and took them out to the kitchen for some more food. Lessons number two, kittens are sometimes not interested in food when in meddling mode.
I came back to the phone. Bonnie had arrived back at the same time.
"You must be having such fun with them," enthused Helen. "When can I come and play with them.?"
"Mnfffff," I said. Bonnie was trying to wash my mouth. Clyde had reached the top of the fly screen and was trying to nab a fly.
Bonnie suddenly took off. There was an ominous silence for a moment and then I heard it, glug glug, slurp slurp. Huh?
"Are you there?" said Helen.
John had gone out to get the paper. His half full beer glass was on the table by his chair. Bonnie had her small head inside the glass and was lapping furiously.
"Omg" I shrieked, "I gotta go - goodbye."