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by Beverley, Napier, New Zealand


I have a partial plate with two teeth on it. As I am scared of swallowing the teeth in the night I take them out. Sometimes I forget - but such is my mind-set that occasionally, unknowingly I take the teeth out in my sleep. Those times the teeth have turned up in my bed, under my pillow or on the floor but normally live covered in tissue paper in a dish by my bed.

This morning I couldn't find my teeth. I searched the bed for them, shook out the sheets one by one, crawled under the bed. I began to worry, perhaps I had swallowed them!

John said, "Don't be ridiculous, they are far too big to swallow"

I wasn't so sure. I could feel a lump in my throat. My imagination carried me through X rays and an operation to remove the teeth.

I sat gloomily in the patio fingering my throat and watching Bonnie and Clyde playing with an imitation mouse. Mouse! the mouse had a couple of white things on it and it was pink instead of brown. My teeth!!! Who knows how they got them!

They were tossing the teeth, one to the other with gay abandon. The lump in my throat vanished immediately and I went to grab the teeth. Not simple. It was a kitten toy and they were not prepared to give it up. I am not nearly as fast as the kittens. Clyde snatched the teeth and raced off. Bonnie tore after him.

I knew I would never catch them. They have their own race track which is a circuit of every room in the house. Better to wait and close the doors to trap them on return.

I didn't have long to wait. There was a thunder of kitten feet. They came back OK but minus the teeth! I spent the next hour searching - under the bed, under the mattress, under the sofa, behind the sofa, behind the toilet - no teeth. The kittens had retreated to the top of the hanging basket chairs in the patio and were smirking. They had just demolished a couple of hoya flowers.

I needn't have worried; the kittens had stashed the teeth somewhere for afters! Later I heard a peculiar grinding noise and found Bonnie using them as a chewing bone.

They are still usable, a bit tooth-marked - but hey, you can't have everything.


Editor's note:

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