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Characters - John, Bonnie and me.
Scene One takes place in the kitchen. John is cooking steak, Bonnie has finished a plate of beef mince, I am watching the whole thing through the servery window.
Bonnie sniffs the breeze and rushes to John's feet.
Bonnie, "Yowl yowl yowl."
John, staring down at her - "Go away, I didn't eat your meat. Why should I share my steak?"
Bonnie, "Yowl, yowl yowl."
John puts her on ignore.
Bonnie extends claws and runs up the back of John's legs and finishes up on his back between his shoulder blades. John drops cooking spatula in fat and gets burning drops of the stuff on hand. Tries fruitlessly to grab Bonnie from his back - fails. Bellows with pain from burning fat and claws - "%%@***&&&&&&@#%* get her OFF me"
I run in and grab Bonnie - claws get stuck in material. Horrible ripping sound of favourite shirt.
"Lock her in the patio," screams John.
Bonnie is locked in patio.
Scene Two. Meal is over. John is stretched out in recliner. I forget Bonnie is in patio and open door. Bonnie speeds through and lands on John's chest.
Bonnie, "Yowl, yowl, yowl".
Joh, (who is in a better mood). "Coochy, coochy coo, so who's a pretty girl, then."
Bonnie, "Yowl, yowl, yowl."
John, getting more friendly, puts the rest of his wine in his glass and jokingly waves the glass at Bonnie. "Have a glass of wine, Bonnie, it will put hairs on your chest."
Bonnie promptly shoves her head in the glass and goes slurp slurp. The glass falls from John's nerveless fingers and wine flows down his chest and onto the floor. Glass lands on floor and smashes.
John "***#@**&%$#@"
I spoke at the wrong time "You did ask her if she wanted a drink."
"$$$$$$$$$$@@@@+_(*fzzzss@@#^***&%$#@_+><^%#@!%$&*("
Curtain.
Editor's note:
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