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Making the Bed with Kittens

by Beverley, Napier, New Zealand


It's time to make the bed and I sneak into the bedroom - grab sheet, flick it in the air and notice that Bonnie is clinging to end of the sheet. Unhook Bonnie, smooth down sheet, notice moving lump under sheet. Ignore! Try to pick up second sheet but it is wrapped around Clyde. Empty him out with great difficulty. Put second sheet on top of first sheet. Terrible convulsions on bed - sheets leap in the air and end on floor!

It is well known that kittens have short attention spans and are easily distracted. Find narrow paper bag and drop on floor. Both kittens rush into bag and the bag runs off out the bedroom door and into John. He yells with surprise as he trips over bag.

I put on both sheets and reach for the blanket. Two kittens are hooked onto the end of blanket. I unhook them and put blanket on bed - there are now two lumps under two sheetsand blanket. Ignore and tuck in sheets and blanket at end of bed.

Kittens both drop to floor at side of bed taking with them both sheets and blanket. I discover their ping pong ball in wardrobe. Toss it in air and kittens race off batting it from side to side down the hall. Make bed and reach for the bedspread. Two kittens are clinging to the underside of satin bedspread leaving numerous snags. Remove kittens. Put pillows on bed. Remove kittens from under pillows.

Go down hallway and find John rubbing back and claiming that kittens are to blame for tripping him and putting his back out. Kittens race past in paper bag. Try to ring my sister but no dial tone. Look at other phone and find that the receiver is in the nearby rubbish tin.

Go to the bathroom cabinet and search for the prozac. On the way out of bathroom notice that John has forgotten to put down toilet lid and that Bonnie has fallen in.


Editor's note:

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