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Life here at the Shirk Fool farm tends to be related to an old gentleman's club for cats. When they lay around the house, they REALLY lay around the house. Until now. PC has happened.
This morning, I woke up from a really strange dream with a kitten licking the drool off of my face. I don't normally drool in my sleep, but whenever I have those dreams where I do weird things at work....anyway, PC licked my mouth, chin, and cheek. I reached up to pull him off and saw his little kitty eyes less than two inches from my own. He has striped around his eyes like badly applied eyeliner.
I heard a noise and looked past him to the cable box to where Tanada was laying. She was avidly watching the action as giggling her evil kitty head off. I told her to come down and fight like a man and she laughed even harder. She basically let me know that she wasn't that stupid.
PC finished cleaning my face and left the bedroom. A couple of minutes later I heard the bell on his collar ringing wildly. I rushed into the living room to see that Rob had put out the ring toy for him. The ring toy is a large hollow ring with three balls inside and slots, just large enough for a paw, cut along the top. I bought it for the cats some time ago, but it only collected dust until Rob put it out for the kitten. PC loves it.
Merlin and Berfert were laying on the carpet looking like old gentlemen dozing off in their chairs at the club, until PC got tired of the ring and came after them. Berfert hissed at him, something I'd never heard Berfert do before, but Merlin ran for all his lardship could.
PC was;l (helping me type) thrilled. He pursued Merlin through the living room and into the kitchen where Merlin somehow disappeared on him. I decided that the show was over and left the room. I was stepping over QC in the middle of the hall when Merlin shot past me, waddling for all he was worth with the Cat from h*ll on his back paws. Merlin tried to scoot under the bed but his udder was too big. He veered off into the bathroom instead. PC ran in after him and all action stopped for a potty break. PC then dashed out of the room running just fast enough that the Merlieman could almost catch him.
I sat down on the bed so that I could watch the morning weather report and my feet were attacked from under the bed. I hadn't seen PC come into the room, let alone take up attack position. The little bugger caught my big toe and used it for a chew toy. After around 30 seconds of this, he shot off down the hallway, his collar ringing merrily. A moment later I heard his collar ringing louder and louder as he barreled back down the hall with Merlin in hot (well as hot as the tub of lard can go) pursuit. QC decided that it was too busy in the hallway and disappeared into Mandy's room to get away from the thundering horde.
Now, we have jokes about Mandy's room and the perils that await the unwary cat within, not the least of which is Mandy. Only a foolish or desperate cat would willingly enter the depths of the torture chamber. QC was desperate. PC and Merlin had run over her, by my estimate, at least four times. I'd stepped over her twice and Berfert had hissed, which had never happened before. Tanada was safe on top of the cable box, but QC was in danger. She leaped on Mandy's bed only to find a sleepy arm waiting for her. With a groan, she was scooped into a bear hug and snuggled to Mandy's side.
PC ran past where QC had lain and back into my room where he leaped onto the top of the computer and pulled up the menu. I pulled him off before he could hit any more keys. Bored, he took off to find his new best friend, Merlin, who seems to have hired PC as his personal trainer.
PC is having the time of his life, having chased Merlin through the house, leaped on top of Berfert's back, and chased QC into the clutches of the Mandy. He helped me type a bit of this, and is currently laying in wait under the window nesty that sits beside my computer area. Woe to any cat that tries to relax around here. PC is on duty.
Editor's note:
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