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Shmoggleberry lived in a pokey 2 bedroom flat for most of his life, and so took great advantage of all the extra space to run around in when we moved to a large house.
The main bedroom, lounge, dining room and kitchen are all reasonably lined up, so Shmoggleberry could run full speed from one to the other. He can really get up some speed! (Since the flat was small, he couldn't really get a decent run without having to make some very sharp, speed reducing, turns) The Kitchen has a lino floor, and since it was winter when I moved, I put some small mats down in the kitchen so I didn't get cold feet. He very quickly discovered that if he got some speed up and then jumped onto the mat at the start of the kitchen, his momentum would allow him to "surf" across the lino, using the mat as a board.
At one point, he got up to much speed, he discovered a law of thermodynamics: once you are moving, its hard to stop! THUNK! head first into the far wall of the kitchen. He let out a rather surprised "ow!" (as you would) and stopped to give himself a good grooming - which he always does when he's done something stupid. I thought he'd learnt his lesson by getting a fairly good smack in the head.
Alas, at some hideous hour of the morning, we were woken to the sounds of boomba, boomba, boomba (sound of cat hurtling through empty house, approaching speed of light), sweeeeeeeeeee..... (sound of mat sliding on lino)....THUNK sound of insane fluffy projectile being suddenly stopped by unforgiving wall). We had just managed to doze off, when - Boomba boomba boomba, sweee..., thunk. [just enough time to go back to sleep] boomba, boomba, boomba, sweeee..., thunk.[enough time..] boomba, boomba...etc.
I caught him at it later the next day - he came screaming out of the bedroom, landed on the mat, and then put his head down so the wall would collect him on the flat bit between his ears. Almost like he was a charging bull. I guess it caused him the least amouunt of pain.
Although I know El Moggo is probably the most cunning & conniving creature I've met, I also know he can be remarkably thick.
Editor's note:
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