Leftovers

by David Yehudah, Bellflower, CA, USA

It's refreshing to see that our little hairy varmint critters have not lost their propensity for doing entertaining things, although the entertainment value is sometimes only appreciated in retrospect.

Just now I was rummaging through the fridge for a noontime snack, when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a plate with leftover turkey and dressing. The dressing is my own concoction and just as delicious as you might expect. Yum. So I slid the plate into the microwave and nuked it thoroughly, then sat at the table to enjoy my minimum-effort repast.

One would assume on even the flimsiest evidence that such a delicacy was meant to be savored by yours truly in peace and safety. Such was not meant to be. Samantha beat me to the table and waited expectantly for me to share, but according to me there was only enough for one; moi. Sam thought otherwise, which she evinced by sauntering over and making a pass at my vittles. Now, I don't mind offering tidbits to shnorrers that wait patiently at my side, but I'm durned if they're going to snatch it right off my plate. So without further ado, I pushed her gently but firmly to the edge of the table, until she had to either levitate or vacate. Or expectorate or prevaricate or prognosticate or emasculate or. . .

I returned to my bird with glee, savoring the. . .What the?. . . From under the table stole a little paw, which felt all around the top surface of the table for my lunch. No cat in sight, just paw. I didn't have to look; I could tell that Sam had slithered up into the chair next to me and was trying to filch some of my turkey and dressing. "Aha!" I cried; "Whomp!" went my fork on the back of the offending paw. In less time than it takes to tell, she was in the chair across from me, with both paws on the table and little pink tongue licking her lips, looking hungrily at my turkey.

I stood up and leaned across the table to push her back, and while I was thus occupied, Pussy jumped into the chair next to mine and snatched a large piece of turkey off my plate. By the time I got over the shock and made a grab for it, it was too late. The last I saw of her and Sam they were both disappearing up the staircase.

That was when I called Cherokee, Mac, and Toby over and divvied up the remaining turkey.

Ah, well, dressing by itself is also good.

Editor's note:

• If you want to comment on this article, why not write direct to David Yehudah?
• He will be pleased to hear from you!

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