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You know how it is when you have cats; you wind up sharing both good and bad with them.
Take last night for instance. . .please! Patty strained her back and was really uncomfortable. So she borrowed a device called 'Ting' from her brother. This is a small black box with a battery in it and wires that go to electrodes stuck to the skin way down on her lower back with adhesive contacts.
She rejected all my offers to help, preferring instead to attach the contacts herself and adjust the current to suit her. Then she stretched out on the couch and was soon covered with little hairy varmint critters, it being a cool evening and the critters looking for a warm place to perch.
All went well for a while, until she became accustomed to the little electric shocks and they no longer made her muscles twitch. So she moved the dial from 1 to 2 and nothing happened. She got this puzzled look on her face and moved the dial to 3. Nothing. 4. 5. . . 10, the highest. Nada. She twisted the wire where it went into the box and it made contact, still set on 10. Wow!
It rained critters for a few seconds as she sat bolt upright, with her hair standing on end all over her head. The critters must have thought they'd done something wrong, because they all ran and hid, including me.
Patty was more than a little upset; as it happened she had put the contacts so low on her back that when the thing zapped her she wet her knickers. The little black box wound up out in the hall where she threw it. Her comments were such that her breath smelled of brimstone for some time after.
Glad it wasn't me this time.
Editor's note:
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