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Last night Patty came in from work exhausted. She'd put in a really hard
day. She normally doesn't drink very much alcohol, and when she does it hits her
hard because she's not used to it. But because of the shape she was in I made
her a Margarita with about four ounces of Jose Cuervo Gold in it. She drank it
down a little too fast and really got sloshed. For a bit I thought she was going
to get romantic
,
but she fell asleep on the couch, instead.
Normally she doesn't snore. Sometimes I think she's trying to be a lady even when she's asleep. But with all that booze in her, her muscles relaxed, and she was soon serenading the rafters. I mean, she was really belting it out.
After a few minutes of this Traveller got curious. He'd never heard a hippopotamus drowning in a bucket of mud before. He walked up her stomach and onto her chest and just stood there looking at her mouth with this very concerned expression on his face. I got tickled and started giggling watching the puzzled look he'd get.
Patty snored ever louder and Traveller got closer and closer until he was looking right down her throat trying to find the source of that G-dawful commotion. Tentatively he touched her upper lip with his paw, and she kind of snorted and rubbed her mouth, then relaxed and soon was blaring again. Traveller crept nearer and nearer until he got so close his whiskers touched her lips. That was when she snorted and bellowed and sat up and Traveller swatted her hard across the mouth and ran like hell and I laughed and threw myself backwards so hard I turned my chair over on its back and lay there with my head on the floor and my feet pointing straight up, too helpless to move, while Patty reenacted World War Two for me, with Traveller playing the part of the Japanese at Pearl Harbor. It sounded like King Kong chasing Aldo Ray. Or was that Martha Raye? No, I remember now, it was Faye Wray. Anyway, she didn't catch him.
Y'all take care now, hear?
Editor's note:
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