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Beds and Bones

by David Yehudah, Bellflower, CA, USA


Some of you may recall that at one time Patty and I removed the bladder from our king size water bed and replaced it with a pair of air mattresses.

They are more comfortable, but the lighter mattresses tend to climb the sides of the bed with any vigorous movement :-) and leave a gap in between with hard playwood (plywood, Dummy, not playwood. Cheez. Talk about Freudian. . .) where mattresses are supposed to be. Not comfortable at all.

We put up with this for a while, until one day it occurred to me that if I lowered the bottom plywood (see, I got it right that time!) a bit, the resulting higher sides would help corral our runaway mattresses. So that's just what I did. I gained two inches. . .I mean, that lowered the bottom two inches.

What I didn't take into consideration is that Maccabee likes to nap under there where it's quiet and shady, and also where he can see any cats sneaking up on him while he's gnawing a bone. That also lowered the ceiling of his hidey hole two inches.

Did I mention there are boards criss-crossing underneath the bed to help brace it?

It wasn't ten minutes after I finished that little chore that Patty gave Maccabee a short rib bone, which he loves. That is, she tried to give it to him. A gray blur shot through the kitchen as Willoughby snatched the proffered goody right out of Patty's outstretched hand and Mac's jaws, which snapped on empty air.

Faster than thought Mac sprang in pursuit, ready to do bodily mischief to that thieving. . .Thump! Thump! Thump! Mac hit every board underneath that treacherous bed, I assume with his head. Willoughby shot under the head of the bed with Mac right on his heels, and emerged a second later from under the foot of the bed. After those resounding Thumps! Mac staggered out behind Willoughby, barely mobile.

As I picked the poor dog up and comforted him, my first thought was "I hope those creases in his forehead aren't permanent."

Wait! That isn't all. Willoughby went back under the bed to enjoy his ill-gotten gains, no doubt cackling evilly as he. . .Whomp! Sounded as if someone hit a watermelon with a baseball bat. That was Willoughby leaping straight up when Patty turned on the vacuum sweeper.

I hope they get used to the new circumstances with the bed before one of them gets killed.


Editor's note:


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