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Pirate Cat: the Continuing Story

by Pam Shirk, North Carolina, USA


{Chanting} I'm Pine Cone Pirate
and I sail the carpet seas.
Don't look for the other cats,
You'd better look for me.
I'm rough, I'm tough,
I'm real bad stuff.
I'll get your goat,
'cause I'm mean enough.


Yup, Pine Cone is continuing in his quest to be the scourge of the Shirk Gene Pool. He's taught Merlin to steal Rob's TY Beanie Baby goat (we still can't find where they put the psychedelic green one) and has Penelope standing lookout for him as he raids the snack cupboard. The beef jerky bag was so tempting that we ended up donating it to the cats one piece at a time. Beef Jerky is now kept in the fridge and it's only safe until the little swashbuckler figures out how to crack the safe.

I was walking down the hall yesterday afternoon when the pirate band brushed past me, lead by Pine Cone. I swear they're wearing little bandanas and meowing "Har Maties, the fat broad's got the goods in her underwear drawer." For some reason my undie drawer is a favorite hangout. I keep finding socks hanging over the edge and panties sticking out of it.

Berfert has been adopted as a sort of Pirate emeritus. He was teaching Penelope how to disembowel a sock earlier today. Merlin was caught stealing Rob's goat, a bit ago and Berfert was dragging one of Mandy's bras out of her bedroom. The little stinkers have taken up the pirate life in a big way. I'm still trying to figure out what ill booten gottie they're really practicing for. I have the feeling that the fact that they're taking turns scouting out the bird feeders in the back yard has great significance. Either that or the squirrels are in grave danger.

Pam S. hopes that she's right and that they're after the wild life, or she won't be able to sleep at night.


Editor's note:

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