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by David Yehudah, Bellflower, CA, USA


They're doing it again. These little hairy varmint critters have me laughing so hard I can't eat my breakfast in peace.

Yesterday at the store I got a wild hair in the usual place and bought some special goodies; bagels, cream cheese, and lox.

So this morning I sat down and spread the makings out on my desk. Everything went fine until I opened the lox. The ceiling fan was on, and the smell of that smoked salmon quickly spread. Patty and the dogs were on the couch, Cherokee was between her feet on the recliner, Samantha was in the easy chair, and Pussy was playing meatloaf on the mantle.

Suddenly I felt eyes. When I looked around there were five pairs of eyeballs fixed on me with very alert expressions.

Pussy was at the far end of the room. The sofa is to one side, the easy chair is nearest to me in a straight line with the mantle. Between the chair and me is the dining table.

Cherokee and Sam broke first, tying and jamming together in the narrow space between the easy chair and one of the dining chairs. Toby and Mac plowed into them, and all four started fighting to be first through the gap. Pussy played it smart; she tore across the living room floor, sprang onto the easy chair and up over the back, then leaped for all she was worth onto the dining table.

That was a very bad idea; the dining table is an antique mahogany gate-leg table with a top like glass. She hit the table cloth right in the middle at full gallop, then sat on her haunches and tried to throw on the brakes, but she might as well have been on skis. When she went over the edge, she was already starting to squall. She hit the floor and the table cloth folded neatly on top of her. The fight was on.

The more she fought the more she got entangled in that cloth and the madder she got. The thundering herd went right over the top of her, trampling her pretty thoroughly on the way by; I mean, they were going after food, and if anything got in the way, that was just too bad. If I hadn't stood up and held the food over my head when I did, I'd have been next. I had to go in the bathroom and close the door to eat my meal in peace. Even then I thought they were going to break the door down.

Critters; ya gotta love 'em.


Editor's note:

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