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Ways to Wake Mom up

by Catherine Sadler, Ramah, CO, USA

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Mom has the day off and she is determined to sleep in for a change instead of getting up at 5am. But that doesn't sit well with certain 4-footed family members! Breakfast-time is 5:45!

Djoser climbs on Mom's ankles and proceeds to gain 20 pounds! Mom kicks and starts coming up from Dreamland. She is stirring!

Sheba gets in front of Mom's face and waits for the inevitable snore. (What a lie!) When Mom's mouth opens, in goes a fur paw to grab the thingy at the back of the throat! "Awngk!" Mom splutters and begins waving an arm but Sheba gracefully (for a plump cat) bounds away in time.

Now comes the big guns. Amber confidently jumps upon Mom's stomach and immediately leaps to the other side of the bed with a great push-off in Mom's lower tummy area! With arms flailing wildly, Mom screams, "Get out of here, you crazy cat!"

Mom stubbornly rolls over to the side and grits her teeth at the bladder pressure. But this is her day off!

She is going to sleep in come hell or high water!

Pretty soon there is the sound of glass and ceramic tinkling. "Get down from there, you monster cat!" She screams!

The cover goes over her head so she won't hear what she doesn't want to hear.

Silence for awhile. "Yechk, yeuck, euck!" Mom thinks, "Oh, no. Slimy vomit to clean up!" Shuddering, she rolls over and grimly tries to ignore the sounds and what it means.

Then Amber carefully walks up and proceeds to sit on Mom's chest and give her 'The Stare!' Against her will, Mom's eyes pop open and regard her Nemesis. Last weapon: "Purrrrr".

Unwillingly, Mom's arm snakes out and pets him and she coos, "What does Mommy's pretty boy want? Some breakfast? Hmm?"

Mom swings out of bed as the cats gather on the end of the bed watchfully, not trusting her yet. Mom grabs her bathrobe and heads for the foot of the bed; with difficulty she gets a grip on her bladder while the cats rub her legs to guide her in the right direction.

As she makes her way to the kitchen, she carefully watches where the yellow devil-cat steps so she doesn't accidentally step in the slime he deposited! She turns on the coffeepot and beats a hasty retreat to the bathroom! The cats squall and come after her! But soon everyone is back in the kitchen with breakfast.

Another day in the never-ending saga of Lord Amber's retinue! Tune in again one of these days to more episodes in this exciting story.

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